worth the guilt...
I have known Susan for nearly two decades.
My X and I used to socialize with her and her husband. Used
to...
I started fantasizing about Susan 12 years ago when my X
and I were drifting apart. When I had my car wreck seven years
ago, she came and visited me often in the intensive care
unit. She was especially attentive and kind.
When I was going through my divorce, she was loyal to me at
some personal expense to her. She plays the piano in my church.
One day after I had separated from my X, Susan called and
left me a voice mail. Phone calls led to emails. Emails lead
to IM'ing.
Finally, she 'had' to bring me a gift for my place.
She showed up and it was awkward, but I didn't realize
why...
She came into my apartment and she looked at prim and proper
as always. She seemed nervous and distracted. I didn't
know what was up, so I just talked and accepted the gift and
wondered how to end the visit.
Over a period of weeks, she came by more often and we became
comfortable with each other. Susan is 10 years older than
me -- her husband is 12 years older than her.
During one of her visits, she wound up walking on my back.
It was sensual, it was passionate -- it was innocent...
I thought. She had more passion in her feet than I had felt
in the past 15 years of marriage.
After several visits and 'back-walks', she lowered
herself to sitting on my butt and giving me a back rub. I felt
her grinding her pubic bone on my tailbone. I had never recprocated
in any way, but I felt my hips starting to thrust and pump
to her grinding on my butt. She suddenly had an orgasm and
wet the skin on the small of my back through her dress slacks.
I feigned a lack of awareness, but then I couldn't ignore
when she leaned forward and started grinding her breasts
into my back.
Susan has great breasts and a fierce ass. She is fanatical
about her body (as I know now, but always thought before
that she was just blessed with a nice figure that was only
occasionally apparent through her dress clothes).
I rolled over underneath her and pulled her tighter against
me. Her hips began to grind against my growing erection.
I kissed her neck and her face, but she kept pulling her lips
away from mine. She ground against me with growing urgency
and had another orgasm. I felt with wetness through her
clothes AND mine. My erection felt like it was getting blistered
from the friction of our clothes between us, but she just
kept grinding herself to orgasm after orgasm.
In her altered state of bliss, she reached under herself
and pulled up her sweater. Now her bra clad breasts were
lolling all around my chest and neck. My erection was anguish
it was so hard and throbbing and hot. I began to kiss all over
her breasts and bite her nipples through her bra. That put
her into another place and she began to vocalize her ecstasy.
Now I was pumping against her pussy so hard that I was lifting
us both up off of the carpet.
She tore her bra away and fed her breasts into my starving
mouth. I nursed her with abandon. She was torn between holding
herself up off of me so that I could devour her breasts and
squeezing herself against me so that her breasts were crushed
between us.
I've never felt such intense feelings from every different
place on my body. My hands and mouth were ravenous. Then
she sat up on me and pulled away my belt and pushed down my
jeans. She lowered her soaking crotch onto my throbbing
crotch and I swear I thought I hear sizzling when her juices
contacted my burning erection.
The sighes and moans coming from her were unnerving. She
suddenly shoved herself down my body and began wrapping
her breasts around my erection though my shorts. I wasn't
going to last long like that... I pulled her up to me and FINALLY
she gave me her mouth. We made love with our tongues and lips
and greedily as our crotches made love. She finally opened
her eyes as my tongue fucked her mouth and that set me off.
I came in throbbing jet after jet, shooting it up my belly
and chest as she came again and again, gushing over my cock
and balls as she ground against me.
The look in her eyes tortures me as does the guilt. She was
conflicted between hunger and satisfaction and despair.
I held her as we both came down and she sobbed into my neck.
We never spoke of it. I fixed her clothes and mine. I stood
up and lifted her up and we held each other and our spirits
spoke to each other through our embrace.
She visits me often. She can never leave her family. We can
never become a family. But he can never have (has never had)
what she has with me. The guilt tears me apart, because there
are so many others for me, and only her for him. But I can't
find her equal for passion...
so, I remain... seeking4just1
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